The Advance

Issue date: 10/24/08 Section: Opinion

You want to know what really grinds my gears around this time of year, being Halloween? Hoochie mamas. Yeah I said it, and you know exactly what I'm talking about.

It's those girls that dress, or should I say, don't dress for the nightly festivities associated with October 31.
Sure Halloween is fun and more created for younger children due to the whole trick-or-treat thing, but it is just as much an event for us "big kids."

Some guys use it as an excuse to be super funny or dress like a woman, which is always hilarious in my eyes, and the girls use it as an excuse to dress like they are about to work the corner of Santa Fe and Crawford.
Since when did Dorthy, Alice in Wonderland and Little Red Riding Hood have low-cut outfits showing off massive cleavage and legs? Isn't Little Red like 12-years old? Gross.

Now, the guys are probably hating this because I'm sure it is one of their favorite holidays, but I'm tired of seeing girls who wear close to nothing, cake their faces, throw glitter and wings on and claim to be fairies or angels or whatever.

Pretty sure if a nurse, police officer or maid came dressed "sexy" to work everyday, nothing productive would get done with males around.

Can't girls just think of something actually legitimate to dress up as, rather than use the night as a reason to wear something that would make Hugh Hefner blush? How about a nun, a ficus or even a statue to complement our geyser of a water feature?

No? Well, I guess we'll find out in a few days if anyone decides to be cool and dress like something Halloween-ish and not hoochie-mama-ish. With no creativity or imagination for a real costume comes the last resort of wearing nothing and claiming to be a Playboy bunny, so do something amazing to stand out this Halloween. Have a little self-respect and see if you can't have a good time actually dressed in a costume, we all know you girls are freezing!

As for me, I'm still deciding between a bumblebee or a box of cereal… or the cereal box with that bumblebee on it… Honey Combs? I'll come up with something better, but that's all I got for now.
…and that, Kansas Wesleyan, is what really grinds my gears.

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