2008 Woodie Awards
If Michael were a monarch:
Guys would learn how to shop with girls…
Michael Tate
Issue date: 9/14/07 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
If I were a monarch, men would learn how to shop with women. No joke.
Seriously, fellow Coyotes, I have discovered the secret. This secret is known to some, perhaps, but not to all. I shall reveal the secret, but first I mention the conflict.
The other day I went to a store with my girlfriend. Two forces resulting from these realities of where I was in space and time worked against each other. The first force was the pressure of being in a women's-clothing section of a store. The second force was that I wanted to make my girlfriend happy. She wanted me to be there with her to let her know if what she was wearing looked good on her. (Dangerous subject, no?) I, however, was getting hungry. There was even more to my tribulation.
When I am in clothing stores, my energy just deserts me. All that I feel like doing is sitting down, staring at walls, hoping that my lady will make her decision soon so that I can get the heck out of there.
At the time, I did want her to be glad that I was there and to relish in my presence, but, for heaven's sake, I was hungry. Hungry and bored. Ignominiously sick of waiting. Then, (get ready for some clichés) a light bulb came on. I had a brainchild. My synapses converged to give me a glorious revelation, and my paradigm on shopping with my girlfriend shifted to the next century.
Here it is, the secret for which you have waited: I should help her shop.
I should actually look for things that I think might look good on her. I was sitting around feeling famished and sorry for myself, wishing that I had something to do. Helping her look for clothes helped me be like a hunter. It fit my shopping personality well, too.
How so? Well, I have to say that I agree with Jeff Foxworthy that any man in this country who says that he does not like to shop is lying. (Ok, maybe there is 1 or 2 in the world, but the truth fits for most of us.) I do like to shop. I like to shop for CDs, retro video games, and I am learning to enjoy shopping for a quality brew. (Yes, I am 21)
But, when I shop, I am a go-getter. I go exploring in focused, planned out ways for what I want, making beelines towards the appropriate section of the store. If I know what I am after, I
am a terrific shopper. So, if I help my girlfriend to shop, masculine-ly hunting down a sharp-looking outfit, I feel a solid sense of accomplishment, and my girlfriend finds a new reason to fall in love with me. If I were a monarch, I would always look for ways to give my male subjects the opportunity to feel this rush of achievement to the benefit of the women in their life.
Seriously, fellow Coyotes, I have discovered the secret. This secret is known to some, perhaps, but not to all. I shall reveal the secret, but first I mention the conflict.
The other day I went to a store with my girlfriend. Two forces resulting from these realities of where I was in space and time worked against each other. The first force was the pressure of being in a women's-clothing section of a store. The second force was that I wanted to make my girlfriend happy. She wanted me to be there with her to let her know if what she was wearing looked good on her. (Dangerous subject, no?) I, however, was getting hungry. There was even more to my tribulation.
When I am in clothing stores, my energy just deserts me. All that I feel like doing is sitting down, staring at walls, hoping that my lady will make her decision soon so that I can get the heck out of there.
At the time, I did want her to be glad that I was there and to relish in my presence, but, for heaven's sake, I was hungry. Hungry and bored. Ignominiously sick of waiting. Then, (get ready for some clichés) a light bulb came on. I had a brainchild. My synapses converged to give me a glorious revelation, and my paradigm on shopping with my girlfriend shifted to the next century.
Here it is, the secret for which you have waited: I should help her shop.
I should actually look for things that I think might look good on her. I was sitting around feeling famished and sorry for myself, wishing that I had something to do. Helping her look for clothes helped me be like a hunter. It fit my shopping personality well, too.
How so? Well, I have to say that I agree with Jeff Foxworthy that any man in this country who says that he does not like to shop is lying. (Ok, maybe there is 1 or 2 in the world, but the truth fits for most of us.) I do like to shop. I like to shop for CDs, retro video games, and I am learning to enjoy shopping for a quality brew. (Yes, I am 21)
But, when I shop, I am a go-getter. I go exploring in focused, planned out ways for what I want, making beelines towards the appropriate section of the store. If I know what I am after, I
am a terrific shopper. So, if I help my girlfriend to shop, masculine-ly hunting down a sharp-looking outfit, I feel a solid sense of accomplishment, and my girlfriend finds a new reason to fall in love with me. If I were a monarch, I would always look for ways to give my male subjects the opportunity to feel this rush of achievement to the benefit of the women in their life.
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